Why wedding vows should be optional

 

                                                              Image by Rawpixel

Wedding vow should be “cancelled “or in a more appealing word “optional” in wedding ceremonies. Hold on! Don’t shoot me, I know you might have imagined this scenario countless times, Saying your vows or crafting a romantic heartfelt piece to your partner (lol).  While I agree that marriage vows are a profoundly beautiful aspect of weddings, I feel couples shouldn’t make promises they can’t keep in the presence of family and friends. What is truly more romantic than saying what you mean, and meaning what you say?

 Given the high divorce rate globally and the existence of infidelity in some marriages, I strongly believe marriage vows should be optional in wedding ceremonies. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting it’s a matter of life or death, it’s natural to stumble particularly in a lifelong commitment. This is where your vows to each other can play a crucial role. You are reminded of your promises to one another, while a flawless marriage may be out of reach, I believe marital contentment is attainable. So back to my opinion, I feel couples can decide to skip the vow taking on that day or in all honesty make realistic vows to each other, and here’s why.

Firstly, what are wedding vows? In straightforward terms, they are promises two people make to each other during a wedding ceremony. These promises vary across different religions and from couple to couple. But as a core, they signify a lifelong commitment to one another in the presence of God, family, and friends.

I, [name], take you, [partner’s name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part”. Others may end in “so help me God.

For those who wish for the sacramental and serious nature of the wedding ceremony, hold to a high standard the traditional vow-taking. These traditional vows are most likely unrealistic. The importance and significance of Vows are undeniable. However, nobody is forced to make these vows, but when a person chooses to, God views it as a promise that must be respected and kept.

We say wedding vows because it’s a ritual that symbolizes our commitment to our partner. The words we say that day are often more important than the ceremony itself. The sacredness of vows emphasizes why I feel marriage vows should be optional. Consider the profound power of those words. Failing to commit to it diminishes the beauty of marriage. Making vows essential as just an itinerary for the wedding ceremony.

Allow me to share a story I came across recently. A woman confided in someone close to her about her extramarital affair, justifying it by claiming her husband was guilty of it too. For her, it was a matter of “tit for tat.” Yet, like countless other couples, they have exchanged vows on their wedding day, perhaps even composing their own heartfelt promises.

Furthermore, another reason I advocate for optional wedding vows in wedding ceremonies is because of our intrinsic struggle with self-commitment. Oftentimes, we find it challenging to pursue personal goals. If you struggle to commit to your own growth and wellbeing, it's unlikely you have the same level of dedication to another person.

In conclusion, think about all the preparation that goes into wedding planning; picking dates, location, setting budget, making guest lists, the list goes on. All these various components come together mainly because of one moment and that moment is the vows. Vow is a solemn promise of one's intention and it's a covenant. If you are going to make such covenant and also know it's important to keep them cause you will be held responsible for your pledge to your partner.

Till I come your way again…